Sorry for the long post, but it was a crazy busy weekend for us with a lot going on and I just can’t find a good place to split it up
Super Bowl Weekend started a little early for me and not in a good way. Both Monday and Tuesday nights last week we were kept up a couple of hours each night by a coughing little girl. My rule with coughs when it comes to seeking out the doctor is that it has lasted 3 or more weeks or is keeping us up at night (great advice taken from my dad!). Two nights up = a trip to see the doc. I left work early on Wednesday to take London in. And as usual she was prescribed some antibiotics and this time he suggested we start her on Children’s Liquid Claritin since her symptoms presented more like allergies.
What I haven’t mentioned is that starting Tuesday, Cameron and I both admitted to having scratchy throats ourselves. Usually a scratchy throat just passed us over without much fuss, minus a lot of water drinking. Not this time. By Wednesday evening I was more than just under the weather. I woke up Thursday with a burning throat and proceeded to spend all day Thursday and Friday morning in bed. This meant no cleaning was accomplished before the busy weekend started, making it even busier.
At least I had the sense to cancel my Friday night plans with some girl friends. Cameron was lucky he had 4-hour trainings in the middle of the day on Wednesday and Thursday so he could stay home and not miss work at the same time. He was one day ahead of me in the symptoms and yucky feelings. Luckily, London was fine besides the cough and clear runny nose so she was at day care, which meant all I had to do was sleep and take care of myself.
But of course, Friday night came too quickly thanks to my state of unconsciousness. And we were hosting Super Bowl at our house on Sunday. By Friday night the count of people coming was at 28, 31 counting us. That meant we needed to get our loft in shape to have a second TV set up. The plan was to have kids and those not all that interested in watching the game downstairs chatting and playing, and those that really wanted to see the game upstairs.
Did I mention Friday afternoon Cameron and I headed to Costco to purchase a second TV for this event? He’s been saving and wanting to buy this new TV for years now, but whenever the time came to purchase it, he’d talk himself out of it. Cameron would always say there really wasn’t a need for it yet. 31 people at our house for a major TV event? Timefor the new TV.
We set up the new, bigger TV downstairs and moved our old one upstairs. We then proceeded to re-arrange the loft area. Cameron even helped me hang the shelf in the laundry room so that project is almost complete. The problem was, we didn’t have much energy for anything else, like cleaning.
Saturday I had plans in Yuba City to attend a baby shower, that I had also been asked to help set up for. I left earlier than necessary to stop in at Costco to get the drinks I was providing for the shower (and then taking home the leftovers for use during the party the next day), grab some flowers to help decorate for the shower and then stop in at California Family Fitness in Fair Oaks to pick up my race packet for the Super Bowl Sunday 10K I had signed up for but now wasn’t planning on running given my current state of health – I just wanted to get the shirt that I’d paid for since it was a nice, weather-wicking one.
Costco was a breeze since it was early enough in the day. California Fitness, not so much. First I had to sign in to get into the building since I wasn’t a member. Than, the organizer’s weren’t prepared for all the people – they had two people working to hand out bibs and shirts and at 12:05 (5 minutes after they offered early packet pick-up) they had 50-plus people lined up waiting. After standing in line for 15 minutes and only moving up 3 people in line, I had to leave or I wouldn’t make it to the shower in time. Which meant, in order to get my shirt that I’d paid for, I’d need to run in the race the next day!
The shower was wonderful. Mama Nicole got some adorable outfits for her and Aaron’s pending arrival. They’re expecting a little boy and it became quite apparent that the current trend in little boy’s clothes is Monkeys. I’d say 75% of the clothes she got had Monkeys on them. And surprisingly it was also a quick shower. Before I knew it I was on my way home, but not before I’d invited more people to the party on Sunday – I’d run into a wife of one of Cameron’s fraternity brothers who doesn’t live too far away. She said she’d get back to me the next morning.
As soon as I got home I pulling up my sleeves to get to cleaning. I don’t think I have ever cleaned as thoroughly or quickly as I did that evening. By the time I went to bed, I only had a few things to do in the kitchen and to vacuum the stairs. It did help when Cameron began to pitch in, taking over the majority of the vacuuming and straightening up London’s toys in the front room.
And I’m glad I ran the 10K Sunday morning. I was feeling much better and the run felt really good. Cameron was amazed I was home as soon as I was – it only took me an hour and 12 minutes to run the 6.2 miles (possibly a personal best).
But, as soon as I got home we were back to cleaning and setting up for the party. For the first time in a long time, all the cleaning I had wanted to accomplish was complete and I was cleaning up with even my hair done and down when the first guests arrived around 1:15. By the end of the 1st Quarter everyone had arrived and we had 35 people in our house. Thank goodness for the upstairs set up or we would have been crammed downstairs.
Also, with the weather as beautiful as it was, we were able to push the kids out into the backyard until it got dark. The spring-like weather also meant that we could open the windows and keep the AC off. You can imagine how warm it was getting between all the bodies and energy, as well as the oven going for half the game warming up various dishes brought by everyone. We had quite the smorgasbord of chips, dips, poppers, nachos and more.
I didn’t actually watch any of the game, which was fine by me. I did miss all the commercials which I usually enjoy, but I was having too much fun catching up with everyone. At the end of the day, Cameron and I realized that every one that had come was related to one of his fraternity brothers – in all 11 of Cameron’s fraternity brothers were in attendance. That’s more than the number that attended our wedding! After everyone left (the last around 9 PM, I think) Cameron, London and I all called it a night.
We’ve been spending out evenings this week picking up in the aftermath. Not that it’s that bad – I always like to have the house clean before a party because it seems that much easier to pick up and clean afterward. We’re just tired so we do a little each night.
But now we need to turn our focus onto Tulley and her pending delivery, which will involve picking up the garage and constructing a whelping box. The poor girl is getting bigger by the day and looks miserable most of the time. She’s really not going to like it when she has to start sleeping in the garage. At the same time it’s amazing she’s still able to jump onto our bed at night. More pictures are coming.
~Sarah
Feb 7, 2012
Toddler Tuesdays: Using Time Outs as a Form of Discipline
Sorry for the lack of Cocktail Hour Friday and Motherhood Monday posts – you’ll understand after I get my weekend wrap-up posted, soon. But on to Toddler Tuesday.
We didn’t have any Toddler activities planned for this weekend mainly because we knew we were going to be too busy (at least I was) but one not-so-desirable behavior kept rearing its ugly head for us throughout it. Basically, London has suddenly taken up using our pets as targets when practicing her aim when she is so inclined to throw a toy. She tagged Tulley in the head on Saturday with her keyboard and Jake in the head on Sunday with her teapot!
And in our house, we’ve found the best form of discipline to get our message grounded into London’s head that her current behavior is not ok is with a “time out”. We actually had to start using time outs earlier than I ever expected we would need to. I can’t remember exactly how old London was when we started using them, but I know it was soon after she was able to walk around 10 months old, and therefore, more able to test the limits.
Time outs have been particularly helpful in stopping London from climbing, and possibly falling and splitting something open – like her head on our coffee table. We used to give her the 1-2-3 count down to a time out as a warning that she was very close to a time out. This warning system quickly lost its effect. Now we only give one verbal warning of “London don’t..” or “London stop…” and then go straight to the time out. And in reality, the time out is what is effective, not the warning. But at least we’re trying to correct the behavior verbally before a time out is necessary.
Time outs have also helped curb bad behavior at daycare – once they told us about the climbing issue they were having with London there we told them how time outs at home had stopped her from climbing at home for the most part. Yes we deal with it occasionally but not like we were.
Of course then I read an article today about why one lady, who also is a psychotherapist for a group that caters to children and adolescents, does not believe in time outs. She gives 5 reasons why time outs are not an effective form of discipline. You can read the full article here if you’re interested.
Her first reason is because brain connections are formed from repetitive experiences and she doesn’t want her kids repeated experiences to be ones of isolation. Except isn’t that how society functions? You commit a crime and you’re isolated from the public for a specific amount of time if the offense warrants it? Even children will avoid other children who hit or bite them. We only are friends with people we enjoy.
Reason #2: The point of a time out is for the child to calm down and reflect on what they did wrong – except they often just get angrier and think how mean mom or dad is instead. Yes, one reason we use time outs is to get London to calm down. And I don’t expect her to reflect all that much (she’s only 20 months old) – but I do want the cause and effect to be enforced. Treating our pets unkindly has consequences. For London, sitting still and not playing is a consequence. And yes, I do remember getting mad at my mom or dad when they placed me in time out when I was little. But they would then sit down with me after the time out to discuss why I was placed in it in the first place. We do this with London, too.
After the Jake incident Sunday, Cameron got on the ground next to her and explained that what she did was bad, that she needs to be nice and gentle with the animals. Then he gave her a hug to end the time out. And guess what, she was calm when he was speaking to her because we waited for her to throw the tantrum of being in time out. After the time out she went back to playing and we haven’t had another incident since. I know there will be more but hopefully not two in two days.
This doctor listed reason 3 along the lines that the punishment should fit the crime. A time out doesn’t fit the crime in her mind. One of her examples of how they would is if the child hits the TV with the broom, then the broom gets put away. How do you suggest then that I punish my child after she hits the dog with the keyboard – hit her in the head with the keyboard? Yes, the keyboard was taken away, but obviously it wasn’t the keyboard causing the behavior – as noted with the teapot the next day. Yes, if she uses her chalk to color anything other than the chalkboard the chalk goes away for a few days. But she can use any toy to pelt the dog – better to take her away from the toys until she calms down than take all the toys away from her. And yes, we remove the animals if they want to be removed, but we’re also not going to remove them and make them feel isolated from the family after being pelted.
Reason #4 was pretty close to reason #3 – parents use time out to punish, not calm the child and educate the child. She feels parents don’t teach after the time out enough to make it effective at changing the behavior. Our aim for time outs is to punish yes, and also teach. And based on our results, I’d say its working.
Last, the psychotherapist feels that kids need connection and that misbehavior is the result of a child inappropriately expressing a need or a big feeling they cannot express, like not understanding why their favorite juice is not available to them when they want it and not being able to gracefully request that mom add it to her grocery list. Really? Yes, London acts up when she doesn’t get her wish or way exactly when she wants it. We go through this every night at dinner when she wants to eat at that very moment and not understanding that it takes mom and dad a little time to make it. We do what we can to distract her while we prepare her meal and offer her snacks and milk while she waits. But sometimes we just have to let her throw a tantrum on the floor until her dinner is ready. I would never put her in timeout for that.
I know as London grows up time outs will be phased out as she can understand more and more. Punishments will more and more fit in line with the crime, but for now, time outs are working. And I know a day will come when time outs will no longer be effective but by then we’ll have other options and probably not need to use them any way.
What do you think about time outs? How would you discipline a 20-month old? How long do you think time outs should be for a 1 year old?
~ Sarah
We didn’t have any Toddler activities planned for this weekend mainly because we knew we were going to be too busy (at least I was) but one not-so-desirable behavior kept rearing its ugly head for us throughout it. Basically, London has suddenly taken up using our pets as targets when practicing her aim when she is so inclined to throw a toy. She tagged Tulley in the head on Saturday with her keyboard and Jake in the head on Sunday with her teapot!
And in our house, we’ve found the best form of discipline to get our message grounded into London’s head that her current behavior is not ok is with a “time out”. We actually had to start using time outs earlier than I ever expected we would need to. I can’t remember exactly how old London was when we started using them, but I know it was soon after she was able to walk around 10 months old, and therefore, more able to test the limits.
Time outs have been particularly helpful in stopping London from climbing, and possibly falling and splitting something open – like her head on our coffee table. We used to give her the 1-2-3 count down to a time out as a warning that she was very close to a time out. This warning system quickly lost its effect. Now we only give one verbal warning of “London don’t..” or “London stop…” and then go straight to the time out. And in reality, the time out is what is effective, not the warning. But at least we’re trying to correct the behavior verbally before a time out is necessary.
Time outs have also helped curb bad behavior at daycare – once they told us about the climbing issue they were having with London there we told them how time outs at home had stopped her from climbing at home for the most part. Yes we deal with it occasionally but not like we were.
Of course then I read an article today about why one lady, who also is a psychotherapist for a group that caters to children and adolescents, does not believe in time outs. She gives 5 reasons why time outs are not an effective form of discipline. You can read the full article here if you’re interested.
Her first reason is because brain connections are formed from repetitive experiences and she doesn’t want her kids repeated experiences to be ones of isolation. Except isn’t that how society functions? You commit a crime and you’re isolated from the public for a specific amount of time if the offense warrants it? Even children will avoid other children who hit or bite them. We only are friends with people we enjoy.
Reason #2: The point of a time out is for the child to calm down and reflect on what they did wrong – except they often just get angrier and think how mean mom or dad is instead. Yes, one reason we use time outs is to get London to calm down. And I don’t expect her to reflect all that much (she’s only 20 months old) – but I do want the cause and effect to be enforced. Treating our pets unkindly has consequences. For London, sitting still and not playing is a consequence. And yes, I do remember getting mad at my mom or dad when they placed me in time out when I was little. But they would then sit down with me after the time out to discuss why I was placed in it in the first place. We do this with London, too.
After the Jake incident Sunday, Cameron got on the ground next to her and explained that what she did was bad, that she needs to be nice and gentle with the animals. Then he gave her a hug to end the time out. And guess what, she was calm when he was speaking to her because we waited for her to throw the tantrum of being in time out. After the time out she went back to playing and we haven’t had another incident since. I know there will be more but hopefully not two in two days.
This doctor listed reason 3 along the lines that the punishment should fit the crime. A time out doesn’t fit the crime in her mind. One of her examples of how they would is if the child hits the TV with the broom, then the broom gets put away. How do you suggest then that I punish my child after she hits the dog with the keyboard – hit her in the head with the keyboard? Yes, the keyboard was taken away, but obviously it wasn’t the keyboard causing the behavior – as noted with the teapot the next day. Yes, if she uses her chalk to color anything other than the chalkboard the chalk goes away for a few days. But she can use any toy to pelt the dog – better to take her away from the toys until she calms down than take all the toys away from her. And yes, we remove the animals if they want to be removed, but we’re also not going to remove them and make them feel isolated from the family after being pelted.
Reason #4 was pretty close to reason #3 – parents use time out to punish, not calm the child and educate the child. She feels parents don’t teach after the time out enough to make it effective at changing the behavior. Our aim for time outs is to punish yes, and also teach. And based on our results, I’d say its working.
Last, the psychotherapist feels that kids need connection and that misbehavior is the result of a child inappropriately expressing a need or a big feeling they cannot express, like not understanding why their favorite juice is not available to them when they want it and not being able to gracefully request that mom add it to her grocery list. Really? Yes, London acts up when she doesn’t get her wish or way exactly when she wants it. We go through this every night at dinner when she wants to eat at that very moment and not understanding that it takes mom and dad a little time to make it. We do what we can to distract her while we prepare her meal and offer her snacks and milk while she waits. But sometimes we just have to let her throw a tantrum on the floor until her dinner is ready. I would never put her in timeout for that.
I know as London grows up time outs will be phased out as she can understand more and more. Punishments will more and more fit in line with the crime, but for now, time outs are working. And I know a day will come when time outs will no longer be effective but by then we’ll have other options and probably not need to use them any way.
What do you think about time outs? How would you discipline a 20-month old? How long do you think time outs should be for a 1 year old?
~ Sarah
Feb 1, 2012
We’re Expecting…PUPPIES!
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| The Mama-to-be! |
I’ve been dropping little hints about this exciting news for a while now – Cameron going hunting without Tulley and a trip to Reno by Cameron without any explanation to name a few. Or the fact that she’s been sleeping like a log lately. But we didn’t want to say anything until the doctor officially confirmed it for us, which happened Saturday. We even got to see 3 puppies on the Ultrasound, and that was only on one side, so we’re probably looking at 5 to 8 puppies, with most likely 6 coming our way.
Tulley is due around February 22, give or take 3 days on either side (or so we’ve been told). She’s getting huge too. Every morning she looks bigger than she was the day before. And she probably is. She’s gained 15 lbs in two months even with not eating for 4 days!
We are completely excited and have quite a bit of work to do to get ready for the puppies’ arrival. This includes cleaning up our garage and creating Tulley’s nest so she can get used to sleeping in there at night and get comfortable with it so she’ll want to give birth there. Our fear is that she decides our bed is the place for this, but the plan is that when we are not at home and at night near the due date, she will be in her “nest”. Not sure how she’s going to take the change since she’s been sleeping between us since she was just a pup herself.
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| Just look at that belly! |
We are also quite pleased that there is so much interest in Tulley’s puppies. I don’t think we’ll have much of an issue selling them off – even our vet told a patient about her possible pregnancy, what a good looking and well behaved dog she is and that patient is interested if there are any we are looking for homes for. Time will tell, but we definitely would like to be able to find homes through word of mouth rather than place an ad.
We know anyone that is referred to us will provide a loving home for our baby’s babies. Yes, you heard that right. Tulley is our baby just as much as London is. Then again, all our animals are our other babies, but there is something special between Tulley and me.
~Sarah
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